Choosing Myself Again

Living in survival mode for the last 18 years with my 4 sons has taught me not to rely on others, what can be done tomorrow can most likely be done today and the only person who is going to love you how you need to be loved is you. I've recently started to choose myself again and it has been life changing. In years past, I put myself last. Last to eat, last to sleep, last to buy clothes for, last one to enjoy anything really. Between journaling, quit drinking alcohol, attended some therapy sessions, forced myself to the gym each week and really make sure what I put in my body is for my benefit long term not just to enjoy right now, has helped me change on the inside. Making sure I'm on the right path and consciously putting in the effort to make the right decisions hasn't been easy, but it certainly has been worth it. I take myself on sushi dates, to the movies, on walks, shopping sprees and massages. I'm learning to love me again and that it's okay to do these things for myself. My kids are good, they're fed, clothed, behaved, taken care of. They need a mom who is healthy on the inside and the out.