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These Last Nine Years Have Been the Most Difficult of My Life

Hands & sunlight Hands & sunlight
These last nine years have been the most difficult of my life. It starts out with the loss of a business my family had thrown their life into, due to a dishonest bookkeeper. Feeling like we had to leave the small town we lived in, we moved to Lubbock in 2014. Before I started working at Covenant in 2017, I was trapped in a job that left me crying on my way home, every day. Starting work at Covenant was such a blessing. In 2018, within a five-month period, I fell, breaking my wrist and my knee putting me off work for 2 months, my husband lost his job, we lost our home and car, and moved into a borrowed camper. In January 2020, my husband and I separated after 22 years of marriage. He’d had multiple affairs over the last eight years and lost five jobs in six years. In February, my 20-year-old son was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, and diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, major depressive disorder, moderate anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. He was released a week later under the care of a psychiatrist at Texas Tech, which ended three weeks later when the college was closed for COVID. I Have rheumatoid arthritis and over the summer, the onset of menopause, helping plan the wedding of my son, moving to a different place, and attempting to file for divorce, contributed to my declining health. At my son's wedding in August, my husband exposed me to COVID, leaving me terrified for two weeks, ending in, what I considered, a nervous breakdown. That’s the bad news. Now, for the good news. Not for one moment, did God ever leave my side? He was always beside me, wiping my tears and comforting me. God showed up every single time. He provided shelter, food on my table, a warm place to sleep, clothes on my back, and a job. It may not have been where I wanted to live, what I wanted to eat, or what I wanted to wear. But God always provided and I have learned to be content in whatever situation I find myself in. My faith has grown and I have learned to trust God in all things. The blessings are too numerous to list. With God’s help, I was able to buy myself a little car to get me to work. Through the benevolence of family, I live in a little, low-rent house with a yard. I live a quiet, peaceful life, and with God’s help, I am working on forgiveness and grace so I may set aside what has occurred. I will leave you with this advice; even though it seems like the end of your world, God never fails. He was, is, and will always be there for you. I don’t believe that God will never give us more than we can handle. I believe He will equip us with the tools we need to conquer those catastrophic moments and come out the other side with wisdom, grace, joy, and the ability to help others.