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I have purpose

  • Location: lubbock,
I grew up in Texas, by an amazing father. I had a happy and secure childhood. I overcame a lot the loss of my mother when I was a baby. and then i was a young mother and a college student. I wanted so much for my children that I was determined to do everything possible for them to have a better life. I would work two jobs and go to school till i graduated. Well about a two years ago I had a miscarriage, we weren't trying to have a child it just happened my boys were already teenagers. after the loss of that child, I was ok because we were trying, and I didn't know I was even pregnant. so, there was no attachment. well then about a few months late I turned out pregnant again and this time I was happy but yet nervous because I was starting over. But I knew it was going to be ok I was physically, mentally, and financially ready to have another child. Everything was going great until one day my baby was taken from me. I sit here and wonder why me and how could I go on without him. But then I think about it again I have two other children that need me and there is no way I could give up on then and that they need me as much I need them. There were times I felt empty and awkward. I battle anxiety and depression. I still cannot put my finger on why this happened bit I can share how I overcame it. I embraced my faith and the support I have from my family, friends and my children. I gave up the things I couldn't control and took control of the things I could. Perhaps part of my issue was that I had so many what if and whys. But once I stopped asking days became lighter and easier. I started to focus on my children and what they needed. Now I feel like I still have purpose. Now I live my life to the fullest, I have fun doing it, because you never know when things change. And I remind myself there is light at the end of the tunnel and that I have a purpose.