Finding self-love

My life has always been about comparing myself to others. I never fit in. I was never good enough. I did not feel loved. I had to have a life changing event last year to make me see I was wrong. My spouse of 43 years died suddenly. I am now living alone for the first time in my life. I am changing everything that did not work in my life. I am trying to embrace who and what I will be when I grow up. I am 65 years old. The next chapter of my life I hope to find love of myself and family and grace to give to others.